Hey everyone, hope you’re all as rejuvenated as I am after taking last week off! Needed a bit of time to actually read again and spark my brain and calm down from the ever-mounting pressures of, well, living — as we all do from time to time.
Like many sheltered kids in the 90s, MTV was forbidden in my house growing up — and just like with The Simpsons, the taboo only made it more appealing. I flitted in and out of guilty pleasures like Room Raiders and mid-series Real World, and music videos during the rare time slots they actually played them, but the show that really struck a chord with me, that I tried to catch whenever I could, which I later bought on DVD as an adult, and which has remained a favorite show of mine to this day, is Daria.
A spin-off of Beavis and Butthead (but please don't hold that against it), Daria was about the adventures of cynical teenager Daria Morgendorffer as she dealt with the idiots, hypocrites, and sycophants who inhabited her high school and her small town. For better or for worse, the show is best remembered for Daria’s withering put-downs, and the disdain she had for practically everyone around her. Daria’s rejection of popularity, typical conventions, and, to be frank, trying at all at just about anything captured the zeitgeist of the 90s and Gen X in ways few other pieces of media did.
That said, it’s also the least interesting aspect of the show. Daria grew from a funny diversion into a truly great series near the end of its first season when it stopped automatically assuming that Daria’s cynical viewpoint and guarded stance was always correct, and stopped tying its entire narrative to just putting Daria in a strange situation and watching her poke fun at it. The episodes I remember most fondly are the ones that challenge and dissect Daria’s worldview and, quite often, find it lacking, and these seem to be the ones that most resonated with hardcore fans, the kind of people who still think about the show today, as well.
Casual fans and the public, though, tend to just remember Daria being mean.
These now three-year-old tweets have really stuck with me. Partially that’s because I replied back to them and still occasionally get notifications from those tweets to this day, but it’s also because Wilson’s1 sentiment here took me by surprise. In the show, Daria’s put-downs were generally reserved for those who “deserved” it, people in positions of power, and rarely seemed to actually bother anyone on the receiving end; part of the joke, at least at first, was that Daria was so low on the social food chain that nobody actually paid attention to or cared about anything she said. And while she was never all that friendly or enthusiastic, Daria also spent quite a bit of time working with and helping many of the most common targets of her insults, and sometimes even found their words helpful in dealing with her own problems. Using Daria’s example to bully was truly a scenario I had never even considered before.
Obviously, though, it’s something that’s happened, as Wilson’s account can attest to, and I’m sure she’s far from alone. Part of the problem is that everybody has their own idea of who an “acceptable target” for Daria’s kind of insults is, whether or not those ideas match up with the show’s — and, of course, real live people don’t tend to shrug those kind of remarks off the way cartoon characters can.
More of the problem, though, can be attested to fans possibly misreading the character. A lot of digital ink has been spilled over the last few years about “toxic” fans idolizing fictional assholes like Mad Men’s Don Draper, Breaking Bad’s Walter White, or Rick and Morty’s Rick Sanchez. Are the shows to blame for glamorizing the characters despite all the terrible things they’ve done? Or are fans to blame for either missing or ignoring the myriad ways all three of these shows have not only painted these characters as clear villains, but also portrayed them as self-loathing, self-destructive, and absolutely miserable, anti-role models in every way? I have neither the space nor the interest to really attempt to find an answer2, but Daria pretty clearly falls into this same kind of scenario, where a certain segment of fans have latched onto one very shallow reading of a character and ignored all the other signals the show is throwing out that it’s not a particularly healthy, nuanced, or even correct take.
Interestingly, there’s an episode of Daria that seems to address this phenomenon. Season Five Episode Four, “Camp Fear,” finds Daria forced to revisit her childhood summer camp for a reunion, and introduces us to the character of Amelia, who became somewhat infatuated with Daria during their time at camp. She idolizes Daria, thinking her some kind of rebel hero when all she actually was in her time at camp was a sad, miserable kid.
It’s hard not to see Amelia as a stand-in for certain Daria fans who saw Daria as an aspirational figure rather than the complex, wounded girl she actually was. Amelia broadcasts the sarcastic comments Daria was trying to keep low-key; she makes Daria’s criticisms of the camp into causes and tries to start mini-revolutions when all Daria wants to do is get through the day in one piece; she wants to be Daria’s best friend and can’t see how much she’s annoying Daria instead.
Crucially, the writers don’t demonize Amelia for this behavior, instead sympathizing with her. The episode’s grand climax is Amelia calling Daria out for being a cranky jerk who spent the entire day being mean to the one person who wanted to be her friend, and Daria’s reaction makes it clear that Amelia’s struck on some truth there. Amelia then takes a stand for herself and wrestles control of the reunion activities from the obnoxious, hated Chip, announcing that, while Daria’s unpleasant, anti-social, and ignorant of other’s feelings, “at least she thinks for herself,” and Amelia’s going to start doing that too.
“Think for yourself” is likely the strongest possible thesis statement you could wring out of Daria as a character, but the bigger lesson in this episode for Daria fans is that, as much as you may think yourself and Daria kindred spirits, as much as you may think you’d be fast friends, in all reality she’s often an unpleasant person to be around, and not only would you probably not like spending time with her, she more than likely wouldn’t like you either.3 I’ve seen other shows base characters off fans as a way of insulting them, but Daria used a fan stand-in to point out and re-emphasize the flaws in their own lead character instead, and that willingness is something I really appreciate about the series.
After all that this feels embarrassing to admit, but the reason criticisms of Daria hit so close to home for me is that I personally relate a lot to Daria, perhaps more than any other fictional character. That might sound ridiculous to anyone who knows me. I tend to be silly while Daria is serious; I’m terrified at being perceived as mean while Daria uses her acid wit as a shield; I’m enthusiastic and care way too much about the many things I love, and care about the world around me to the point where I’ve been called a “SJW” on more than one occasion, while Daria is loathe to admit she likes anything and would never take a stand. It’d be easy to think that I’m as deluded as the fans who see Daria as an easy excuse to terrorize anyone they dislike.
What I relate to with Daria, though, isn’t her well-known persona, but her flaws.
In the Season Three premiere, “Through A Lens Darkly,” Daria decides to try out contact lenses after nearly hitting a dog during a driving lesson and realizing they could improve her peripheral vision. This triggers a personal crisis for Daria. Even considering contacts at all feels like giving in to the family members and classmates who have been haranguing her to “care about her appearance” her entire life. She feels disloyal giving up her iconic glasses, which makes her realize that even purposely dressing in a way as to not make a statement is still making a statement. Even more concerning, Daria finds that she actually likes the way she looks and the attention she gets when she wears her contacts, which goes against every code of ethics she has. She’s horrified to discover she contains any vanity at all, despite even her closest and coolest friends telling her that there’s nothing wrong with caring about your appearance. What finally brings Daria back down to Earth is actually ditzy cheerleader Brittney, of all people, who admits that a “brain” like Daria caring about her appearance makes her feel not as bad about herself, “like we’re all just…people.” That one moment of humanity helps Daria put things into perspective.
Though an allergic reaction forces Daria back into her glasses, she’s still clearly left with a different outlook on her own standards and how sometimes they can be, well, a bit ridiculous. In a later episode Daria’s mother sums her up in a way that perfectly details what troubles her, not only throughout this story, but throughout the entire series: she holds everybody, including herself, to such a rigorous code of conduct that nobody, herself included, can ever live up to it, and that’s a recipe for alienation and constant frustration.
Boy, do I ever feel that. I used to be a lot like Daria in this way. I grew up in a very black-and-white environment, and imposed the rules and morals that were fed to me on those around me, coming across as rigid and self-righteous. As a teenager I once went to the mall with a friend and got mad at him for buying clothes at one of those trendy stores; think Hollister or American Eagle or Abercrombie, one of those. The cool kids that made fun of me wore those clothes, which meant that the clothes were bad, which meant that it was a bad thing for my friend to buy them, like he was siding with the enemy. It’s not only a preposterous conclusion to come to, but it’s also one meant to distract myself from the fact that I liked some of those clothes too, and would have loved to look and been thought of as cool or popular or stylish. Admitting that felt like a moral failure, but seeing Daria grapple with something similar helped me come to terms with it, see the absurdity of my own actions, and realize that I could grow and try new things without losing the parts of myself I liked and admired.
Daria never pulled its punches in exploring the nuances, faults, and growth of its title character. In a similar vein to the contact lenses, Daria’s crush on Trent continually forces her to admit that she’s not as above it all as she’d like to believe. Daria’s trip to an elite school for gifted students reveals that her intelligent peers are just as snobbish and hypocritical as the “dumb” classmates she left behind in Lawndale. She discovers her own talent for ruthless competition and snobbery when she competes with Jodie and Upchuck for a scholarship and is surprised by how far she’d go to win it (though she wasn’t able to betray her principles enough to actually succeed). The entire character of Jodie exists, on some level, to point out how, for all of Daria’s righteous indignation at the world around her, she never actually does anything to try to make it better. Daria is practically the villain of Season Four, where she and her best friend Jane’s boyfriend Tom start falling for each other and Daria refuses to admit that she could ever do something like that until she’s already royally screwed up by kissing him. And when Daria and Tom actually date in Season Five, every other episode ends up being about Daria confronting her own preconceived notions about romance or hurting Tom through poor communication.
Again, the writing rarely demonizes Daria for any of this and keeps her sympathetic throughout, but the series realizes that she’s a far more interesting and compelling character when you chip away that edgy, Gen-X Riot Grrl exterior to find the flawed human being inside. Watching Daria be forced to confront her own worst tendencies and the way she’s used her jaded persona as a coping mechanism has helped me grow a lot, and is a huge part of why I, and many others, still love this series so dearly. Daria was always smarter than it got credit for, even when it got quite a bit of credit.
At one point in those threads of tweets I linked to earlier in this piece, Wilson claims that Daria never grows as a character and is two-dimensional. This is…just patently untrue, but these days I would never argue with her about it, and, in fact, I regret the replies I did send back to those tweets all those years ago (I don’t think I said anything mean or offensive or bad — it was basically a 140 character version of this essay about how those mean girls misunderstood Daria and her depth — but it was still tacky and insensitive to make that semantic argument as she bore her soul about being bullied in school). I’ll argue to the death that people who reduce Daria to a simple cynical archetype have completely misunderstood the character, but being a fan of the show also means that I need to accept any harm it may have done, even completely unintentionally, and allow those who feel slighted by it room for their take and their truth as well.
BUT I WAS ALSO PRETTY HARD ON DARIA
Daria’s persona isn’t meant to be idolized and I’ve learned so much from watching her overcome her flaws, but I’ve gotten a lot out of her positive traits too, her self-awareness and her intelligence and her need to always be her authentic self.
I’ve always been a big fan of her Graduation Speech, for example. “Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience proves you wrong” is, um, some pretty excellent advice.
Daria also, may in part, be why I’ve had such trouble finding fulfilling work, oops!
ALSO…
With the #Snydercut debuting this week, I can’t help thinking about Daria’s take on the word “edgy.”
Make of that what you will.
ABOUT
“Do You Know What I Love the Most?” is a newsletter from Spencer Irwin about his relationship with the stories he loves. Spencer is an enthusiast and writer from Newark, Delaware, who likes punk rock, comic books, working out, breakfast, and most of all, stories. His previous work appeared on Retcon Punch, One Week One Band, and Crisis on Infinite Chords, and he can be found on Twitter at @ThatSpenceGuy. If you like this newsletter, please subscribe and share with your friends!
Logo by Lewis Franco, with respects to Saves the Day.
For anyone unfamiliar, Mara Wilson is a writer and a former child actress best known for roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Miracle on 34th Street, and Matilda.
My general take is that, while stories are incredibly important and useful ways to teach lessons, they can’t be responsible for always modeling perfect behavior nor for explicitly saying “do or don’t do this” or “be or don’t be like this character,” especially series designed for adults like the ones I mentioned here. That sounds like a perfect way to rob art of nuance and the ability to create flawed, realistic characters. A story that beats the reader over the head with its message isn’t fun and is often patronizing, and the kind of obnoxious fans these debates have risen up over are just as likely to ignore even these obvious messages as they are any others they disagree with. Obviously there’s more nuance to this too, but most arguments in this area need to be made on a more case-by-case, show-by-show basis.
Ironically, this episode also featured two Daria fans who won a contest animated into the episode, which feels humorously at odds with this aspect of the plot.
I love your take on Daria's character, also I appreciate that you don't sugarcoat her but are also objective about her best and worst points.
For me, Daria is a flawed individual who is trying to make her way in a world of perceived and real stereotypes to become her own person.
The beauty of her character comes from her imperfections: she is sardonic, melancholic, ridiculous, sometimes brutal, and inflexible, but at the same time a vulnerable and sensitive character, with aspirations and intellectual humor who can actually make us reflect about our best and worst attitudes, our inconsistencies as humans.
As you also pointed out, I think that Daria is far from a one dimensional character, who is incapable of growth. She proves us on the later seasons, specially within the Tom arc, that she's capable of taking action and owning her mistakes, if properly encouraged, and of loving her family and being vulnerable with them, despite her rivalries with Quinn and her apparent aloofness with her parents.
I also believe that despite the popular opinion about Tom being worst character to be added in the show, he was a good influence for her, in taking action about her complaints:
Like in the episode "Fizz Ed" where Jodie points out that if she is discontented about the soda advertising around Lawndale High, she should go and complain to the superintendent. Tom is the one who convinces her to file the complaint, while pointing out that she can only complain if she does something about the situation, something only she can do.
Similarly when he supports her to present her work to the musings magazine, but also points out her childish behavior, and she had to apologize for her stubbornness.
In sum, I loved the article and I believe Daria also remains as one of my most loved cartoon characters too. Thanks for writing this.